Cursed

Okay, so I decided Wednesday afternoon to try something new with you.  I decided not to text you unless you text me first.  Is it working?  Not really cause you’ve only texted me once since then and that was to say goodnight.  I mean I shouldn’t be the one to start our conversations all the time.  They kinda feel one sided sometimes cause all you say is yep and lol.  So I end up rambling like a fool which I don’t like doing cause you point it out and I feel like a total idiot.  I really like you and like talking to you, but you don’t seem very talkative ever.  You tell me I need to find a good guy, but I feel as if I already have.  You make it very hard to have feelings for you.  I end up confused after every conversation we have.  Lately I don’t know what to do with myself and my foolish heart.  I always set myself up for a big fall and it ends up being a huge one instead.  But the thing is this has been the hugest fall ever in my life.  Sometimes I get so sick of how I feel cause it hurts so much and I think my heart will never heal.  I just want to kick your ass so bad for what you do to me.  Everything about you drives me so freakin crazy.  My heart feels like its gonna explode with all these damn feelings and emotions.  I feel like someone has put a curse on me.

Wishes of a lonely girl

I wish…

I could be with him.

My dad was still alive.

I was like her.

I was as lucky as her.

I could hear his laugh.

I could feel his fingers on my face.

I could feel his hand cradling mine.

For all these things and more.

They could be.

For his happiness.

Damn wishes

I dream of you late at night.

Oh how I wish.

Why can’t you feel the same way?

What do I have to do?

I want you to want me.

To be yours would be heaven.

All I need is you.

To have your sweet face next to mine.

Oh how I wish.

Be my everything.

Please

My dumb mirror

Reveals fear.

A lonely tear

Has to appear.

I am such a mess

I have to confess.

I would be so sublime

If you gave me some time.

You don’t have to be my mate

Just let me be in your fate.

I can’t stand when we are apart

It almost destroys my heart.

If you don’t want to change any of me

Then I will give you my gold heart key.

You can count on me not to be a tart.

I am actually truly very smart.

All I want is a little of your sweet love.

Without it I will hide away in a cove.

Notice

Drowning in my own tears I am.

So many feelings to share.

Just want sweet love.

Soft lips to touch mine

Hand to stroke my face.

Him to notice me already.

Whisper my name in the dark.

Dream of me as I do of you.

Hold me close to you.

Gaze into my eyes.

Tell me how you feel.

Keep me close to your heart.

Don’t change for anyone.

Sweet Dreams

All the fairy tales end with a happy ending.

       Why can’t life be like that?

Try not to give your heart away.

        It’s too easily broken.

What a cruel world we live in.

          People come and go too much.

Be my Romeo and never leave me.

      I’ll never hurt you.

I tried to protect my heart.

  But you hold it now without really knowing.

I wish we could be what I dream.

   But your heart is with her.

It feels like my heart has been ripped out.

    Can’t stop the bleeding no matter what.

I’ve sewn up the hole with silver thread.

        Just can’t fill the void you left.

Tried so many times I have.

           Each fails and leaves me crying.

Tell me

Be my forever

I’ll never love another.

You make me crazy.

Do I do that to you?

You sneak into my dreams late at night.

Does that happen to you?

Be my honey

I’ll be your bee.

If you’ll be my flower

I’ll be your water.

Life would be heaven with you.

Together forever  would be divine.

You’re like candy so addicting and sweet.

What am I like to you?

You confuse and scare me

But it’s kinda intoxicating.

I can’t escape you ever

Don’t want to though.

Giddy

Your voice makes me want to dance.  You have this secret power over me.  I try to fight it, but it subdues me in the end.  How do you do it without even knowing I wonder.  You make my insides warm and my stomach feels like its on fire.  My thoughts get mixed up.  I can’t talk right either.  You tell me when I ramble, but I can’t help it.  You make me nervous and happy at the same time.

Closet not basement

I used to think that I would never find someone that I could/would love, but all this time you’ve been right in front of me.  How could I be so blind?  What was the point of me realizing that I love you when you love someone else?  This haunts me everyday and I can’t find the answer.  My poetry is all about you and  I have to try really hard to write a poem that isn’t about you.  Sometimes when I think of you, I cry because we will never be.  Now that I think about it, I could do what Toby Keith does in his song A Little Too Late.  Except I would put you on the right side of the brick wall and not trap myself like an idiot.  Although I would hide you in my closet, because the basement is already occupied by my sister and her prize.  Sure people would notice that you had disappeared and my family would probably hear your shouts for help.  A gag would easily make you unheard though and I could always build a soundproof wall.  But I could never do that to you.  No matter how much I love you, I could never put you in my closet and keep you there.  I love you too much to do that.

You don’t understand

My heart aches all the time.  We live so far apart, but that doesn’t matter to me though.  You fill my thoughts and dreams, but sometimes I hate how I feel.  You don’t feel the sameway and it kills me.  I can’t take the pain any more.  I try to ignore it, but the damn pain keeps coming with even more intensity.  I curse my heart and this world.  Why must I suffer?  What is it that you like about her?  We text almost everyday and I love it, but it makes the pain even worse.  I don’t think you understand how much I like and love you.